it was like eating out sand paper
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
