We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
