If that was your dad, he is hot
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
either way he was missing a nipple.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
