i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
