I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize