Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
