i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
