Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Randomize
