Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Is it penis luge time yet?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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