What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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