So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
