Define "chronic" masturbator.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
