do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
