I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
