Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
