his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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