i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
