STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
