I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize