so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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