Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I cut my penus on the lid.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
