yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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