how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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