are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
