the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
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