Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
