I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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