anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
