You really coming over, don't trick.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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