thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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