Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
