The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
