I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
