you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
