Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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