Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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