highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
