What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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