It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
