Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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