yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
