I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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