Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
