You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Who died my cat blue again?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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