I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
