Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
