Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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