sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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