Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
