i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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