Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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