These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
