We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
