Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
