I need to stop coming to work sober
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
