There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize