BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize