i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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