i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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