At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
