so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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