you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
