Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
