New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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